"Many people spend their entire lives reacting to what they don't want to be instead of responding to the call of God on their lives. " -Kris Vallotton

I've never been great at keeping journals. i carry a little moleskin around all day searching for a miracle to jot down or listening for a profound word to drop from someone's lips and hit my blank notebook. as i fill each and every moleskin, i consider them a waste. i underestimate my ability to produce the purpose and depth and power that i am jealous of. but when i read over my journals years or months later, i almost want to slap myself in the face as my eyes are opened to the understanding that the spirit within me is as profound as it gets. somehow (by the grace of God) my forced and discouraged journal jottings transform into spirit-breathed revelations.

God is good. the story of my funny life is long and boring, curving around petty trips and falls, out-of-this world encounters with jesus only to be forgotten days later, whimsical trips to foreign countries... a story that only God could delight in and a story that only he could weave into his powerful and beautiful heart.

I am only beginning to enter into the purpose and depth and power that i've carried all along. I am only beginning to grab ahold of the worth of a daughter of the King and the trust of a child. an entry from a few months ago reads: "open up my heart today like double doors opening to fields of beauty and grace. place your face before mine. stare me in the eyes. stare my darkness in the face and draw it out of me like drawing water from a well. my king, what is hidden within me? take away my doubt, let me fall completely into your arms. refine me, my husband. mold me into the proverbs 31 woman. Oh! How he loves me. Prepare me as your bride, pure and blameless in your sight. be the only man i see, the only man i desire, may i be beautiful in your sight. I don't deserve you-your faithfulness , love, truth, protection- I am the luckiest girl in the world"

my journey to Portugal is only the backdrop of the journey of my spirit. I have barely touched the refining fire, barely entered into obedience and communion with jesus, barely understood my identity. as this continues, i want to take you all with me. to partner with me, because we need each other. this journey is ours, wherever it leads.